Dominican Dispatch: The Weight of a Waterfall

Hello again!

It's probably been the shortest, longest month that I've ever experienced! When I look back over these four weeks, it seems like they flew by, but while I was experiencing them, it felt like they dragged on and on.

I got the chance to hike to a waterfall. Looking at it and imagining the sheer force of all that water coming down, it struck me that this might be the best way to describe what I was going through. The weight of a waterfall.

Culture Shock

I was pretty disappointed to see myself strongly affected by culture stress. If you've never heard of culture shock, it's basically an intense emotional roller coaster that most people who transition into totally new environments experience. Initially, the change is super fun and exciting! So many cool things to do and fun things to see. But then, time passes and the excitement is lost, and all that's left is exhaustion and anger at all the demands of life in this environment. Over time the cycle balances out, with the highs not being as high and the lows not being so low.

I hoped that, since I've moved so many times in my life (and to very different places as well), I wouldn't get hit too hard by culture shock. I was wrong. While I have experienced big changes, I've never been all on my own, away from everyone who knows me well, with a demanding full-time ministry job and an empty apartment that needs filling. In short, I've never adulted before! All of the little details of life hit me hard these past couple weeks, and I felt a lot of anger and frustration. I've never felt so extremely disoriented! It felt like I was standing under the waterfall being drowned by all the responsibility that was being thrown at me. God helped me through and now I'm starting to balance out! I know it's going to be hard, but I also know that with His help, I can do this. The weight is pretty heavy, but God is good.

Doulos & WyldLife

It was definitely a crazy month, but so much good happened. The students, from pre-k to 5th grade, really enjoy their time with us in the motor lab. It's been a great space not just to help them physically, but also to improve their character and behavior. I get to show them that this is more than a job for me, and more than a school for them. All of us at Doulos are committed to developing genuine servant leaders for God's glory. It's more than a mission statement, we want to live it out.

We had two WyldLife clubs (think organized youth group for middle schoolers) that went super well! While it is great working with students at school, it's super fun and effective to hang out with them and impact them outside of the confines of a school day. The first club was donut-themed (which was awesome, and we all got to eat donuts), and the second was Disney-themed. Looking forward to the farming-themed club coming up next!

Pouring into the students at Doulos and through WyldLife has been a great experience, but it's a lot of work, and the weight is really heavy.

Apartment & New Roommate

When I started renting my apartment, it was completely empty! So while I've been trying to fulfill my duties at work, I've also been trying to fill my apartment with the essentials of a home. It's mentally and emotionally disorienting to come home to a place that doesn't feel like home yet. But it'll get there! I have my appliances, my bed, and my kitchen table and chairs! Today (09/30/2023), I had the opportunity to have my host family (the family who I lived with when I first got here) over for lunch! It went really well!

I also have a new roommate. He's pretty wild and hard to hang out with sometimes. I have to teach him not to bite and scratch people. Plus, he doesn't even pay rent or pay for his own food! I still love him though! His name is Cheeto.

All of this has been really good! But having to manage work, build a home, and take care of a cat--the weight is so heavy.

The Blessing / Burden of Relationships

Like I mentioned before, I've left everyone that genuinely knows me. So I'm out here in a new place, a new job, a new language, surrounded by people who I don't know and who don't know me. It's spiritually and relationally lonely.

But in these moments I can grow closer in my relationship with God, because He's ever present and knows me better than anyone ever could. It's also a time where I need to pursue and develop new connections, and do that well. However, I can be pretty introverted sometimes, and people can tire me out, so I need to be careful not to rush into building too many relationships with too many individuals! I need to be wise. God's given me friends already, but I want--I need strong connections, yet not too many that leave me broken and burnt out.

It's so much to think about and balance, and in the midst of loneliness, the wait is terribly heavy.

The Waterfall

I felt the heaviness of life, the weight, beating me down, trying to drown me, like I was standing under that cascade. But something clicked. Something shifted. I was reminded that thou the pressure of life can be powerful, it's nothing compared to the mercy and grace God pours out unceasingly. Just as I've been slammed by the pressures of life, God has never stopped pouring out His love on me. And the power of His cascade infinitely outweighs the worries of this world. I fall short, as I always have, and I will mess up, but I'll give it my all, as He did for me. His mercies are new every morning.

Praises:

• I'm developing strong relationships with students!
• Quickly recovering from the emotional stress and disorientation of culture shock
• God's faithfully provided for every single one of my immediate needs (I knew He would!)
• God's reminded me of His genuine, real, amazing love for me as I waddle through this new phase of my life!

Prayer Requests:

• I don't have a couch in my apartment right now, which makes hospitality a little awkward!
• Continued recovery from culture shock, and that it wouldn't hit me again anytime soon
• I still need to raise a bit more support to be fully funded!
• Pray that God would give me strong, spiritually solid close friends where I am now
• I need to grow in time-management skills!
• Doulos is moving to a new permanent location (our current place is rented), and needs to raise $500,000 to pay for the land! More info
• Energy, energy, energy!

Wow, you made it to the end! There sure were a lot more words in this update! Have a cookie. 🍪

Author: Timothy Bemenderfer (10/02/2023)